George Bush & Michael Jackson Jokes

Michael Jackson & George Bush are 2 men who have amused millions through cheap shots in jokes. Post your favourite jokes for each of these and vote for who you think is easier or better to poke fun at.

When Michael Jackson dies they're going to melt him down to plastic and make him into toys - So kids can play with him for a change.

Q. What's the same with Michael Jackson and a PS2?

A. They're both plastic and turned on by children

Lol, haven't heard that one before, mine's a boring one everyone knows.

Haven't heard your's either, must be different real life regions.

Everyone has heard the one I said where I live

George W. Bush has a heart attack and dies. He goes to hell where the devil is waiting for him. "I don't know what to do here," says the devil. "You're on my list but I have no room for you, but you definitely have to stay here, so I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I've got 3 people here who weren't quite as bad as you. I'll let one of them go, but you have to take their place. I'll even let YOU decide who leaves."

George thought that sounded pretty good, so he agreed. The devil opened the door to the first room. In it was former President Richard Nixon and a large pool of water. Nixon kept diving in and surfacing gasping for air, then immediately diving back into the water again over and over and over. Such was his fate in hell.

"No!" George said. "I don't think so. I'm not a good swimmer and I don't think I could do that all day long." The devil led him to the next room. In it was British Prime Minister Tony Blair with a sledgehammer and a room full of rocks. All he did was swing that hammer, time after time after time. "No way! I've got this problem with my shoulder. It would be constant agony if all I could do was break rocks all day!" commented George.

The devil opened the third door. In it, George saw former President Bill Clinton lying naked on the floor with his arms staked over his head and his legs in a spread-eagle pose. Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky, doing what she does best. George Bush looked at this in disbelief for awhile and finally said, "Yeah I could handle this."

The devil smiled and said . . . "Monica you're free to go..."

Rofl, that's pretty good lol.

Course, there's always this one too.

George Bush Jokes #2
In the light of all the criticism that George Bush is an idiot, the Republicans decide to hold a "George Bush Is Not Stupid" convention. Eighty thousand Republicans meet in the Kansas City Chiefs Stadium.
Trent Lott says, "We are all here today to prove to the world that George Bush is not stupid. So ladies and gentlemen, let me introduce President George Bush."

After the cheers die down. Lott says "Mr. President, we're going to prove to the world once and for all that you are not stupid. So tell us, what is 15 plus 15?"

Bush, after scrunching up his face and concentrating real hard for a moment, declares, "Eighteen!"

Obviously everyone is a little disappointed. Then the 80,000 Republicans start cheering, "Give Bush another chance! Give Bush another chance!"

Trent Lott says, "Well since we've gone to the trouble of getting 80,000 of you in one place, I guess we can do that." So he asks, "What is 5 plus 5?"

After nearly 30 seconds of chin-rubbing and grimacing, Bush meekly asks "Ninety?"

Trent Lott is quite perplexed, looks down and just lets out a dejected sigh -- everyone is disheartened.

But then Bush starts pouting, and suddenly the 80,000 Republicans begin to yell and wave their hands, shouting again "Give Bush another chance! Give Bush another chance!"

Lott, unsure whether he's doing more harm than good, eventually says, "Ok! Ok! Just one more chance -- What is 2 plus 2?"

Bush looks down, counts on his fingers, and after a whole minute, proudly announces "Four."

A moment of total silence, then an electric charge surges through the stadium as pandemonium breaks out.

All 80,000 Republicans jump to their feet.

These GOP partisans start to wave their arms, stomp their feet and create a deafening roar:

"GIVE BUSH ANOTHER CHANCE! GIVE BUSH ANOTHER CHANCE!"

Rofl, man you gotta love George Bush.

we tell the same joke, but about limburgers =x

Try New Zealanders...What do MacDonald's and Michael Jackson have in common?They both put their meat between 3 year old buns...

elbanaan wrote:we tell the same joke, but about limburgers =x

Us about people from antwerp! :p

ever heard a guy from Antwerp speak french or german? Hilarious!!

Dishmcds, those are epic jokes!

Q. What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a Tescos carrier bag?

A. One is white, plastic and dangerous for kids, and the other you carry your shopping in!

emotional r0cker wrote:

Q. What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a Tescos carrier bag?

A. One is white, plastic and dangerous for kids, and the other you carry your shopping in!

Heard that one, still funny though.

The one about McDonalds is absolutely hilarious Alex